Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hate Mail

So, I haven't gotten any hate mail yet, so I'm going to write some of my own, in a move blatantly ripped off from Frank J. of IMAO. It may not be an original thought but the people I hate don't have very many of those either, and I'm atleast funnier than the politicos I so loathe.

Dear Joe,

I'm just sending this to ask how long it took you to chew through the spare kong ball that the president was using to muzzle you. I have several friends with dogs and know how tough those suckers can be so I have to say I'm impressed with the effort even if I find the thoughts you expressed after somewhat.... lacking in thought. Maybe that is all incidental though, it just occurred to me that you might have been worried about the president mistaking you for Bo at his next beer summit. Have you asked him what sort of sauce he uses on barbecued boxer? I have never eaten dog but I would suggest sriracha, sriracha works on everything. Maybe you guys should soak the HCR bill in the stuff when it gets repealed and Boehner is getting ready to shove it down your throats? Of course, that would take critical thinking skills and those don't seem to be your strength if the hair plugs are any indication Joe. The only way you could look more embarrassing to look at is if you raided Obama's closet for a pair of mom jeans. In closing, I hope you get lost at sea looking for Obama's mythical 57th state, you jowly old windbag, may your hairr plugs become swollen from trapped sweat and your throat become so hoarse you are deprived of your own unctuous voice.

The Gentleman Punk

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